Batty
by Zabbie Q
Summary: [One shot.] Looking for a good laugh, Discord goes behind Fluttershy's back to find out what she looked like as a bat pony - the consequences of which he did not predict.


MLP: FIM © Hasbro

* * *

Discord cast a sweeping glance as he strode through Fluttershy's cottage. It had been at least a month since he had stepped into her home, but a week ago she had invited him to tea, and who was he to ignore an invitation from her, especially when it involved food? The cottage itself was a quaint as ever, decorated with hearts and rainbow pictures and flowers, but he was not one to miss certain details. "Do I detect the traces of our mutual comrades?"

"Yep," she smiled, flapping her away beside him. She hovered in the air to meet his eye level, compensating for the height difference between them. "We were writing in our journal yesterday."

"Oh, yes, that. Your quaint little gift for posterity," he said, glancing at his talons. "Well, what did you have to write about this time? Sharing cookies? Dashy too reckless again?"

A strange, uncomfortable expression came over her furry face. "Well, we, um, I, uh," she stammered, ducking her head, "well, uh, we had a bat problem at - at Sweet Apple Acres."

Discord raised a thick eyebrow as he studied his tiny friend. "'Problem'?" he repeated, amused. "I've seen you cuddle with spiders and bears four times your size. I didn't think you were the type to start labeling a few fruit bats a 'problem.' Has dear _Fluttershy_ actually met her match?" He pretended to be offended. "Does that mean that I, as a challenge, rank below furry fruit with wings?"

"Oh, no, no, no!" she insisted with a fervent shake of her head. "They were all darlings once the bat sanctuary was built. The problem was - " and she suddenly stopped, her yellow cheeks taking on a pink tint.

That got his attention. He popped on the other side of her, bending his long neck backwards in a high arc until their eyes were mere inches apart. "Oh? Did something big happen?" he asked, mirth entering his voice. "Something that makes you want to _die_ from embarrassment?"

She looked away, rubbing one hoof against the other. "No, no, nothing like that."

Discord clapped his hands gleefully as he straightened. "Oh, you can't hold a thing like that back now! Spill! Did the bats get tangled in your mane? Did you crash land into a flock of them? Sit on a whoopee cushion?"

She just shook her head again. "I'd rather not talk about it just now if you don't mind."

Discord was unfazed. He was a being of impulses, and once his curiosity was aroused, he followed it as if it were an ice-cream vendor. "C'mon! Friends share! You can trust me," he encouraged, and a glowing halo appeared above his head. "Tell me, tell me, tell me! You already told the others if it's in the journal, so why not your good buddy, Discord? Or should I just read it for myself?" he asked, turning his head to see if the purple book was anywhere in sight. If not, he could always just zap it to him -

"I - I know, Discord," she said quietly. "And I suppose it's not _that_ embarrassing. I'm glad I went through it because those dear little vampire bats got a safe place to live, but - " and finally she looked up at him with those big eyes of hers. "I don't want you making fun of me."

Discord took to the air himself, floating on his stomach as he rested his head against his mix-matched hands. "My dear, dear Fluttershy," he said, adopting a gentle tone. "The old Discord would have certainly made fun of you, but the _reformed_ Discord will not. I can't promise that I won't chortle, snicker, guffaw, and giggle, but it would never be **_at_** you." He suddenly paused, stroking his long beard. "Huh, never thought I'd say _that_ sentence and mean it."

She looked at him uncertainly, quiet for several moments, and finally she sighed. "Well... it happened when Twilight was trying to cast a spell to make the vampire bats not want to eat apples anymore, and she asked me to help, even though I didn't want to, but in the end - in the end - " Her voice was already beginning to soften. He learned closer, his paw to his ear, and managed to make out: "I kinda... sorta... for a short time.. turned into a... a... vampire bat."

He could feel his eyes widen, stretching almost as large as his long face. "What?"

Fluttershy must have lost her nerve because she suddenly sprinted forward, heading toward the kitchen. "How about that tea?" she squeaked.

However, she did not get far. She had to scramble to a halt in the air to avoid crashing into Discord, who materialized in front of her, now with a referee's striped shirt and black cap, and blew a whistle. "Time-out!" he exclaimed, waving his arms. "What did I hear you say? You turned into a _bat_?"

"It was just an accident and - " She was cut short by his guffaws. He slapped his thighs, his stomach, his head before collapsing on his back to roll and rock while his laughter sent ripples through his frame. "Please, stop that!" she scolded. She looked hurt.

Discord wiped a tear from his cheek as he patted her pink top with his paw. "Why shouldn't I laugh? It's too delicious! Did you get any photos?" he asked eagerly, drumming his digits together. "A sketch? A coloring-book page? Oh, forget pictures! We can watch a replay right here!" He grabbed her in his mismatched arms and zipped over to the couch, planting her on one end while he took the other. A bowl of popcorn materialized between them while a forty-inch television screen appeared in front with a loud ping.

Fluttershy's pupils shrunk. "W-w-watch?" she stammered. "No, no, no!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" he nodded. "C'mon! It'll be fun!" He ribbed her gently, giving her a wink. "It'll bring us closer as friends."

The pegasus laid her hooves on his tawny arm. "Maybe someday, but just not right now." She looked up at him imploringly. "Please, do this for me."

She looked so pathetic that Discord slumped against the backrest of the couch with a pout. "Fine!" he sighed as he held up his paw in oath. "I won't peek." Immediately, the television vanished.

"Thank you, Discord," she said with relief. Her countenance resumed its hospitable temperament, and she stepped off the couch. "I'll put the water on for tea then," she said as she broke into an easy trot. "Would chamomile be fine?"

"Whatever you wish, kind hostess," he returned with a genteel bow that earned him a smile.

"It won't be long," she promised and soon disappeared through the kitchen door.

He waited until he heard her fiddling around with her kettle before he pulled out his claw from behind his back and glanced at it with a smirk. "Look at that. Had my fingers crossed."

With a grin, he grabbed the bowl of popcorn, and the big screen came back with a flash of yellow light. He pointed the remote and pressed the mute button before he started his film. Though he had been not present for the events, he knew the point with which he wanted to start: the exact moment the five mares discovered that the gentle pegasus had been turned into a bat by their own devices. He already anticipated their reactions just as much as seeing Battershy.

The television sparked to life, and he found himself watching a night scene in one of the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack had arrived on the scene first. She had a flashlight on the ground, pointing upward to the sky, no doubt meant to be some type of signal. The orange mare stood still as stone as she stared, horrified, at the darkened form dangling in one of her precious trees.

Discord snickered into his paw. Fluttershy was even hanging upside down with her wings wrapped around her. How rich was that?

One by one the others were coming to the earth pony's aid, and in leaping bounds, Pinkie Pie was swinging in the darkened tree, hanging by her tail to confront the yellow creature. She shined her own flashlight at the upside-down shape. Suddenly, the wings parted, and a face was revealed - and the effect was one that Discord had not been expecting. The draconequus leaned forward, his popcorn now forgotten, and stared with a hanging jaw.

"**_Yowza!_**"

"Did you say something, Discord?" Fluttershy suddenly called from the kitchen, her voice slightly muffled.

He started and snapped his claws, causing the screen to vanish as he turned his head. "_How's ya_ doin' in there?" he returned. "Need any help?"

The pink-hair head appeared at the kitchen door. "Oh, no!" she answered with that sweet smile. "You're the guest. Make yourself comfy."

"Will do," he replied with a thumbs-up. Fluttershy nodded and disappeared once more.

He waited a few moments to make sure he would not be disturbed, and he spun back around. The screen reappeared, more hurriedly than he intended, and the footage continued.

The five ponies were obviously shocked to realize that the creature sucking apples dry above their heads was none other than their own gentle Fluttershy, but Discord barely noticed them. Rainbow Dash flew into his line of sight, obviously trying to talk to the former pegasus. With the mute on, the draconequus could not tell what she said, but it seemed to have a negative impact on the yellow vampire pony because she suddenly flapped her webbed wings, creating a blast of wind strong enough to send the blue flyer hurling through the air. Provoked now, the yellow creature left her branch and swooped, causing her companions to cower on the dirt path.

Discord let the footage play, the focus remaining on Fluttershy exclusively now. She returned to her branch, resting there a few moments only to take once more into the air, flying away from the others. The angle showed that the ponies gave chase, but the night and new-found speed proved to be the vampire pony's allies, and she was able to elude them.

As he watched his tiny friend fly a loop around the shadowed trees, a strange feeling came over Discord. As a being of chaos, he did not give much weight to the appearance of normal creatures. On their own, bats and ponies were not much to write back to the proverbial home about. That was not to say that he could not recognize aesthetic qualities of each, but at the end of the day, one was one, and the other was the other. Both followed the particular rules and uniform of their respective species, and that bored him. However, when combined, like here with the pegasus that was leaving the orchards in devastation, the result of this hybrid looked... _go__od_.

The blend was not exactly like a draconequus: she looked like a pegasus with a few minor bat accessories attached to her body. but still there was an allure that kept his eyes transfixed. Her feathery wings had morphed into the webbed appendages with sharp points, and her well-combed mane and tail were now tussled, setting off two pointed ears with tufts of fur on the tips. Her large teal irises had been replaced by two small red ones that glared at everything in an adorably animalistic way. Two cute fangs peeked out from the lips of that beautiful scowl - sure, they were symmetrical, but the contrast against her soft, pony face was striking. If he had seen a vision of that during his second reign over Equestria, after a millennium of solitude in stone, he would never have bothered with goading the six element bearers into the labyrinth or tried forcing Fluttershy's kindness into cruelty. He would have snatched that ravishing beauty from her friends and started making wedding plans right then and there.

The draconequus sat up straight at the thought, feeling the color drain from him - quite literally. A pool of mix-matched paint now appeared under Fluttershy's couch. As he snapped his fingers to restore his pigmentation, he looked down and cringed. His heart had increased its beating until it had opened two doors on the folds of his torso's fur, and its inverted, twisted shape popped in and out like a cuckoo clock. His hands flew to his chest, keeping the offending organ restrained even as he felt it continue to race against his fingers.

Every part of him that cared about the little pegasus told him to stop now and find something else to do, but a piece of him urged him to keep going. _Just see how it ends_, he told himself. He grabbed the remote and fast-forwarded.

He hit play as Fluttershy was diving again as if following a scent, and that was when Discord saw the others on the ground, a large apple between them. He rightly guessed that it was bait because suddenly Applejack bucked it away, revealing a mirror held by Spike. Several other mirrors were set up by the ponies to catch her every which way she tried to escape. Finally, transfixed by her own famous Stare, she stayed still long enough for Twilight to perform the reverse spell; there was a swirling blanket of light, and the bat features melted away, restoring her to her former self.

Discord slowly let out the breath he had been holding. She was normal again. A normal, ordinary, uniform pony that looked just like any other boring pegasus in Equestria. Whatever had come over him could jump off once again. He could pretend that he had never welcomed any thoughts that he could not entertain.

_...Well, why not?_ that defiant part of him demanded.

She was not a filly. Despite her youthful looks, she was an adult. Sure, she was nowhere close to achieving his many centuries, but she was an adult nonetheless. His old self might have had no qualms about taking her for his own, but it did not mean that the reformed draconequus could not _look_ at her. It was not as if he were going to start making advances on her, and even if he did, it would not "taint" their relationship if these feelings were ever to exist between them. Besides, they already had a connection that he had never experienced with another being of any species, so what would be the harm if he did take it just one more step? She even hugged him sometimes - platonic hugs, yes, but she never had such physical contact with male ponies. Would it be so bad if those hugs were to last a little longer? Or if they were accompanied by his talons running through her soft mane, or even a peck on the cheek? Or the lips?

"Not an option," he growled to himself and slapped his lean cheek, but he did not sound convincing even to his own ears. He slouched against the couch, but his heart was still knocking on the doors of his chest, threatening to pop out. He snapped a padlock on to his fur and folded his arms, waving the screen away.

He had seen a lot of evil in his days - most of which he had created himself - but his friendship with Fluttershy was the first pure thing he truly had in his life, and no cartoon reaction was going to make him change that. He hoped.

* * *

Finally, that soft, but still sweet, voice called out,"Tea's ready!"

Discord rose to his feet, grinning as the little pegasus pushed her wooden cart with her purple tea service towards him. He would snap them both into some silly tea-party clothing that would make her laugh, and things could go back to normal now. "Goody! I'm perfectly parched!" he said as she began to lay the cups onto the table that had materialized before her.

To his surprise, though, Fluttershy suddenly paused in her task and cocked her head, raising one eyebrow. "What's the padlock for?"

Discord cringed. However, he had had centuries to get good at lying on the spot, and he waved his talon in a sweeping motion as if he were modeling a designer piece, giving a careless smile. "Oh, I had a little talk with Rarity about accessorizing on my last visit, and I was thinking about putting her advice into practice. You like?"

"Well, it's not something I would choose for myself," she replied with a polite uncertainty, "but if you like it, you should keep it."

"Well, I think I'm already _bored_ with it to tell you the truth," he replied with an indifferent shrug, and the padlock was gone with a flash of light. His heartbeat had decreased by now anyway. "Now, how about that tea?" he asked, clasping his paw and talon together.

He zapped in two chairs, and they sat on either side of the table. When Discord hosted teatime, the table could be on the wall, the ceiling, or even suspended in mid-air, but he respected her quaint ritual of being on the floor when in her house. Discord dropped a few pebbles into his cup. He promptly dunked the purple saucer into the liquid and bit into it with a crunch. Mmm. The ceramics she chose were always excellent to his palate.

He turned to tell her such, but he stopped when he saw that she was looking at him with a strange expression, the corners of her mouth forming an unhappy frown. "Why, Fluttershy! Whatever is the matter?" His eyes darted to the half-eaten saucer in his hand. "You know I can replace it. No harm, no foul."

Fluttershy uttered a sigh, looking at her teacup. "What did you think?"

Discord quirked an eyebrow. Did she think she steeped the tea too long again? "Delightful!" he grinned, exaggerating the creasing of his eyes to make himself look extra pleased. "Positively delightful!" and he took a sip to make his point.

"I was talking about seeing me as a bat," she replied coolly.

Tea sprayed from his lips, and he turned to face her, sputtering. "Fluttershy! I'm shocked!" he exclaimed, laying his paw over his racing heart. "Terribly shocked! What would make you think that I - " He stopped short as her steady gaze fixed on his own. Those soft teal eyes which so often gleamed with nurturing affection were hardened now as they looked at him with hurt feelings - and disappointment. Discord slumped his shoulders. "How did you know?"

"The fact that you weren't making any noise told me that you didn't want me to hear you." He did not always take into account Fluttershy's intelligence, but she had proved long ago that she was not so easily duped by his ploys.

Discord held up his hands in defense. This was the last conversation he wanted to have at the moment, but he could not leave her with that look on her face - that look of betrayal. "Fluttershy, I didn't mean any harm by it. Really, I didn't."

Her stern eyes narrowed further. "I explicitly asked you not to, but you did it anyway. True friends don't do that to each other."

He folded his hands and held them out to her. "Fluttershy, I'm sorry. My curiosity got the better of me, but it was just harmless fun, really. And," he paused a moment before adding, "believe me when I tell you that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about." There was no harm in telling her a little bit of the truth - if he did it without drooling. "I don't understand why you would be that upset about it," he finished, taking on a defensive cadence.

"Well, I am!" she retorted.

"Would it help if I showed you some embarrassing pictures of me?" he suggested quickly, pulling out a wallet, and a long row of photographs unfolded, rolling its way across the floor. "I can show you what I looked like with zits, or the time I caught this disease that made me belch out rainbows. That'll even things out."

"That's not the point, Discord."

"C'mon, Flutters," he encouraged. "I can't stop my curiosity, and what's done is done. I learned my lesson, and one day we'll look back at this and laugh. Here, let's start," he added with a grin as big as Hearth's Warming Eve stretching across his narrowed face. "Ha, ha. See? Easy."

Her expression did not change. "Discord, what happened is something I'm still processing, and I felt uncomfortable letting somepony other than those involved learn about it so soon. I _might_ have confided in you eventually," she went on, looking down at her cup, "when I felt comfortable enough to share it with you, but I guess I'm glad you did find out here because if you were reading a letter at home, you would have just looked into the past without even asking me first." She took a deep breath. She looked like she had been rehearsing what she was going to say next. "Friends respect each other's personal boundaries. If you can't respect mine, then - then I can't have you over here anymore."

He jumped to his feet, his fur and feathers standing on end. "What?!" he gasped, staring agape at her.

Fluttershy drew herself up, crossing her hooves with the air of a disciplinarian - but her expression told him that this was more than mere chastisement. "I'll still be nice to you, but I need to be able to trust you. If you can't respect me in the little things, then what are you going to do with the big things that matter?"

"I **_do_** respect you!" he insisted. "..._Most_ of the time!"

She turned her head away.

And that was when he understood what she was saying. Here he had been prattling about how she should not be offended, but he had been basically telling her that he could do whatever he wanted with her life without any limits but his own loyalty to their friendship. This was not a mundane issue like reading a diary. This was her knowing he would not mistreat her for his own selfish ends. His old self would not have given a second thought to her feelings or even her welfare. Back then, he could have and would have done whatever he wanted. He could have snapped his fingers and made her a bat hybrid or even added a fish tail or a crab claw to make her more appealing, and there would have been nothing she would have been able to do about it. Her own free will could be taken away from her if he truly desired it.

He doubted her mind was going quite down those lines - or that she had any idea about the thoughts he had been entertaining mere moments before. As big as her faith had always been that he would do the right thing out of friendship, she needed reassurance that she was safe with him, that he would not cross certain lines just because he wanted a good laugh. Fluttershy herself had only began making her own pony friends a few short years before he had, and for the shy, socially insecure mare, it was essential to know that she could place her trust in an omnipotent being who could just as easily humiliate her as look at her.

Discord sat in his chair with a slump. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'm trying, Fluttershy. I really am, but for centuries I could have whatever I wanted just by thinking about it. It's hard to remember to bring myself down to your level and tell myself 'no.' I'm very persuasive," he added with a disarming grin. "It's even hard for _me_ to resist me." She did not respond. "But for you and our friendship... I won't look into your past anymore without your permission," he said with resignation.

She finally turned to look at him, her eyes scanning his face. "Promise?"

An inverted red heart appeared in his paw, and he drew a black X on it. "Cross my heart."

Then the smile came. "It's a process," Fluttershy assured him, and she laid a hoof on his paw. "No pony gets it all right at once."

He could not help feeling admiration as he studied her. As alluring as he found the wild look in the vampire pony's red eyes, that vision of chaotic loveliness could not compare with the big heart that loved manticores and fluffy rabbits equally. More and more he was discovering how powerful her kindness could actually be. It had allowed her to resist manipulation in the palace maze, and it could make a master of all chaos put limits on his own actions - and it could show him forgiveness when he did not. "Fluttershy, can I say just one more thing, and then I'll shut up about it?"

The mare's brow furrowed, but then she let out an exasperated sigh. "Go ahead."

He laced his digits together, propping his elbows on the table as he lowered his head to her eye level. "I really do prefer the Fluttershy who became my friend," he said quietly. She would probably never know the full weight of those words. "I like her more than any other."

That smile returned to her plain, ordinary face. "Thank you."

Discord cracked his knuckles, straightening up with a smile. "Now," he said, changing the subject, "would you like the cream-cheese and strawberry sandwiches or my very own homemade green-egg-and-jellybean salad sandwiches for our tea party?"

"Oh, whichever you would prefer," she said sweetly, and just like that, the uncomfortable rift between them vanished.

And just as easily as it had come, the last traces of his impulsive infatuation vanished. Discord laughed at himself. Whatever had seized his addled brain could not compare to this platonic pleasure of sipping tea and making the silverware perform a soft-shoe routine for her entertainment. Soon she was laughing, a sweet giggle that revealed all her teeth, including a pearly white set of bat fangs -

"_Yowza!_"

She blinked in surprise. "I beg your pardon?"

He stiffened. "Yowza, that is some good tea!" he said quickly and took a sip, waving away a heart bubble that had appeared over his head.

* * *

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A/N:

* I like Fluttercord, but rather than having them get together at the end of the story, I decided to explore the issue of personal boundaries. Discord is only just grasping the nuances of friendship, and he isn't anywhere close to taking the step into a healthy, stable relationship (but I would love to see him get there with Flutters).

"Look at that. Had my fingers crossed." Inspired by _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ with Jim Carrey.

Saucer gag - inspired by Disney's_ Alice in Wonderland_.


End file.
